To Love

"Even when we are at our worst, I am better because I have you;
 I am better on my worse days when I have you than I ever was
 on my best days without you" 

These are words any woman wants to hear especially from her husband, just saying. But these are words that my husband encourages me with one my worst days, days when I need it. I know Tom loves me but when you come home every night alone, you go to bed alone and you wake up by yourself - some days it's hard to remember that you have a husband and that he loves you. Sometimes it's hard to express your frustration, anger or depression. I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue and I most certainly don't want him to worry about me, but some days I am not strong. Sometimes I need the reminder that even though he may not be here, he may not be able to kiss me on my forehead or hold my hands while he whispers, "I love you," but that doesn't mean he loves me any less. One of the hardest parts for me, personally, is sharing my struggles with Tom. I won't tell him that I cry while I write a lot of his letters or that tears run down my face as I write this - he will only know when he read this one day. It's important to always remember there was a place you started, a reason why we start this journey - it gets lost after time, you get to used to this. I still struggle with allowing Tom to know how I feel, 100 percent, I hate to make him worry. But tonight, it was really great to hear those words, at the right time. Because all of our days aren't perfect but they are better with one another - than without. And with that I will wipe my tears, slap a smile on my face, go to bed alone, to wake up by myself but to still love deeply, know love and be loved! 

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