Happily Ever After

Once upon a time seems to always start a love story, a love story that seems to be unrealistic of how perfect their life is and then the story ends with a "happily ever after." But what exactly is the happily ever after. Does that come when you grow old with someone? Or can is come earlier? Today while on the phone with my grandma she asked if we had still had plans of a formal wedding, one in which we planned for hopefully during the summer of 2012. The plans have been put on hold especially since Tom wasn't released when we expected. When I explained to my grandmother that our plans were cut short she said, "OH honey, I don't want you to miss out." And then I thought about it. I am missing out. What about my happily ever after? In the past 340 days I have sacrificed for a man that I love. To some people it is an ultimate sacrifice while to others its a dumb decision. Honestly, I think both. Some days I wonder how I function. How I manage to pay bills, support Tom, make sure he is taken care, that I can work over 40 days straight, but I make it work - I do it. Other days I wonder what the hell am I thinking - I have dedicated the better part of an entire year to Tom, a man in realization I barely knew. I took vows with someone that I thought would be in home in three months, 11 months later I still sleep alone. So what if I never get my happily ever after? At this point I get a lot of questions of where is Tom, what is new with Tom, etc. And most of them always end with, "He better appreciate what you do." I want to think he does, I want to hope he does but of course some days I have to ask myself that. I have to wonder does he realize the sacrifice? Does he wonder about my happily ever after? I know I deserve it but I want it to be with him.

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