Forever and a Day

Forever my days are spent loving you
I miss everything about you
Some days I have to slow down my breathing
So I can get a grip on my heart
I can't wait to hold you in my arms
My apology for the days we have that are bad
There are many ways of making it up to you
Just like the many ways to love you
I can't wait for my special day with you
Better yet I can't wait to just hold you
Just to spend forever and a day with you
Makes my love for you grow by the seconds
So I want you to know 4-Life, From the bottom of my heart
I am blessed to spend, Forever and a day with you!"
Could I ask for anything more?
This is why I continue to fall in love with a man over again when I haven't seen in over 100 days and a man that I can only talk to in 15-minute intervals. This couldn't have came a better day, really. While Tom and I are looking at our halfway mark this Thursday, Tom could have came home this week as well. I know it is bittersweet. I have always preached "everything happens for a reason," but why this? Why did we have to catch 180 more days? Really? But like like we say, "it is what it is." While it would be fabulous to have him here, we both know its obviously not in the cards and when it comes down to it, it may not be in the cards until his release day.
Reading what he wrote makes my heart melt, because its positive that we are halfway done, yet still have XXX days left. Its hard because reality hits whens we both realize we have done so many days already and are still in the three digits. And maybe we both just realized that this past week. Tom writes this gets harder and harder and it always makes me wonder, what if.
"I'm sorry to put you through all this and like I said before I promise to never leave you again! Now also I lay here at night wondering how its going to be when I do get home. I know this is hard and its only been 90 days and I worry some times that something will happen in the next 200 or whatever days. I know you say you are here to stay and you have been supportive as hell through this but I have seen it a hundred times where it starts out great and the letters and money and phone are coming in constantly but then it gets close to the and and they say they met someone else and they just kept up with everything to make sure you were okay till you got out or they say that they are scared that you may go back or do something stupid to get you sent back and they want to end it now before it happens. Or worse off, all the love just fades away and thats the one that scares me."
He wrote that back in July but seems it be in play now. While we are still both supportive and love is not fading, its hard to maintain a relationship hell a marriage under these terms. The whats ifs, the what if he gives up, what if he can't handle it, the coulda, shoulda, woulda's all come into play. But while neither one of us can admit that this is easy, a piece of cake, we are still here. We are both trekking through this slowly but surely and poems like this, make it worth while.
So maybe the "everything happens for a reason" was to bring us closer, learn more about one another, really explore our goals, philosophy of life or finally just realize how much we really love one another. Whatever the reason may be, it is what it is. I still love my husband, I am still supporting him 120 percent, and when that day finally comes of him when I can finally have his fingers in between mine, I know we both will look back and say, "Look at what we did, can you believe it." Because when it comes down to it, its love.


  1. I can completely relate to this with everything that's been going on in my life right now... A lot of times I feel like giving up & moving on... But I also feel that it wouldn't be fair for either one of us if I didn't try.... I don't want any regrets & what if we could've made it beyond his term and lived a happy life together. I want to know that the decision I made was a good one & I can peacefully live with it.

  2. Both you and Tom have a very special love for each other...and you BOTH got this!

  3. The love you two have for one another will endure this lifestyle we live. I can't believe how strong the two of you are and how much you two confide, depend and trust in eachother. Your love and marriage will last forever.

  4. Once he gets home all the missing and sleepless nights will be worth it I am sure. You two are very strong to be going through this together.


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