The best

Now with 2,500 miles between us, we can longer have a "date night." No more movies, dinner or any drinks, our relationship, marriage is consumed by pre-paid phone calls and letters read by strangers. But with the bad, the fact my husband isn't here and won't be for over 100 days, the good is soooo good. We both look forward to mail time and when the phone rings, my heart still skips a beat, so when I get a letter and get to talk to him on the same day is the best. The best we have for now. Tom's letters are heartfelt and so open, our honesty with each other amazes me and the love we have for one another is even more extraordinary. I love this man of mine.


My favorite part of the day is mail time well, if I get mail, or afternoons when he calls. Either way this mailbox is my best friend.
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Even though....

Even though he's in stripes behind glass I love this man with all my heart, I just wish I could see him everyday again.... soon enough
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I keep waiting for you

Weekends are the worst and a holiday on top of it? It really makes me miss Tom. I just keep waiting for him to come down those stairs, I just wait to at least hear his voice. Sometimes this seems to get harder as the days go by as it gets easier for him. The days keep counting down and while weekly phone calls and letters are wonderful its hard to think that your husband is far away. When Tom I decided to get married, we had no idea what we were about to get into. We had no idea if Tom would be gone for two weeks, two months of two years, thankfully we were lucky and he did get a short time but its hard. I feel so alone without him and I am sure it is way worse for him. I want him here in my arms, I want him home so we can begin our new family together. Only 128 more days to go.

I just miss him . . .

The Happiest

What can make a girl go from sleepy and over the day to on top of the world giddy . . . . . not only a LETTER but a PHONE CALL. Double whammy today! I ran home to check the mail and there it was - to Annette Lewis from none other than Mr. Lewis. I look forward to every single day, hoping just to get a letter and when one actually arrives I am over the top happy. While all the letters are fantastic, this one is ever so fantastic. And he writes:

"Hey baby! IT was so good to talk to you tonight! I miss you so much! Don't let that crazy bitch get into your head baby, I took my vows to you and only you and I hold those vows close to my heart! There is no one else that I want to spend my life with than you baby, I just want you to get home to you and start making our our new family. I love you with all my hear! i sit here and stare at our pic and I can't wait to hold you in my arms again! I laid here earlier dozing off thinking about that first night you were over watching movies and I asked you for a kiss and your lips felt so good against mine, and the way we kissed it felt so good, I just knew you were the one for me and I was determined to make you mine at that point! I wish I could just kiss you one last time right now! I want you to know babe that you and only you is whats getting me through this right now! I wake up in the morning and its you I think of, during the day I wonder what it is that you are doing and at night I know you can't hear it but I say goodnight and I love you to you! EVERY NIGHT! All I do is think about you! I've said it a million times but baby you really do complete me! You are my everything, I need you in my life! I am proud to call you my wife! You should never have a doubt in your mind baby you are my one and only! My heart aches everyday that I can't be with you, but it heals knowing the future we will have once this is finally over! That gets me through it, knowing you are here for me and I am here for you baby! We are perfect for each other! You make me laugh and if I need it I can cry! You don't judge nor hold anything against me. I can tell you anything and you listen! I've never had anyone close to me and I'm not going to fuck that up, not for no addict whore, not for anyone! You are my wife and I am your husband! ....... "

I can't give it all away! I love this man I call my husband sooooooo much! No one can believe this short time we have not only been married but have known each other could be so fantastic. I didn't think this kind of love EVER existed! I am truly so lucky to have met someone so amazing and someone I relate to and really completes me!!

Wherever I go

God, I miss him - every where I go I miss him - day, night - work, home. I just miss him <3
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Mail time

Letters upon letters! Mail time is by far my favorite part of the day. Today's mail was bittersweet, while I did receive a box it was Tom's clothes and letters he had to send back. . . But its okay, I know the next set of letters will still be there to help him through! <3 him

Finally . . .

Just after 1 a.m. and I can't explain how happy I am (the most I could be). Today marks 27 days that I have been apart from my husband, and after five days of not hearing a single thing, he was finally able to call. Hearing his voice brings some sort of security to me, even though he is 2,832 miles away to be exact he still brings a smile to my face. After all time of not knowing, getting an actual date, an actual time line lifts some sort of weight off our shoulders. The anxiousness is now subsided and now we can focus our energy on staying happy in our relationship with weekly phone calls and limitless letters. We both just worry about each other, making sure we are both staying strong and committed. Even though we have been married for ..... 10 days, and none of those days have we spent with one another, none of those 10 days have we been able to wake to each other, I couldn't be happier. Some women are always complaining about their boyfriend or husband, that he cheats, nags, is lazy or unattentive, I can't say anything like that about Tom. Even though Tom and I haven't been together and wont for at least 130 days, I love him and I am happy. I never thought of any of this for my life, for my marriage nor my husband but I would never change it for anything. I love Tom, more than anything. I cannot wait for our lives to start, for OUR future. I look forward to building a family, have a fantastic life with my husband. I <3 Tom

And the days go by ....

It's been 24 days since he's been home, 4 of which he hasn't been able to call. Days are going by without questions answered, the unknowing is the worst. His love is what keeps me going .....

"Hey babe,

Well I should be back in Jersey by now hopefully and waiting to see when we will be back together finally! No matter how long it is going to be I just want you to know that my love for you will not fade a bit! I can't wait for the day we will be back together again that is the one thing that will keep me going back there! This is going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do, but knowing you are there waiting for me and the plans for OUR future will get me through this all! I am ready to get back to start the family life that I always wanted and with the woman I always imagined but couldn't find till you! I am so glad that I finally found you! It took me 30 years and a lot of heartache but it was all worth it to have your hand in marriage! You are every thing that I'm not as well as I am every thing you're not! We are a perfect fit for each other! I could never have thought that I'd move here and in the few months that I've been here, that I would find the woman of my dreams and to top it off take her hand in marriage but I couldn't be happier about it! It's 3:30 and their shipping me out. Love you babe, call you ASAP."

realized someone wrote this on my window..... hmmm.... wonder who it was

Because . . .

21 days I have been without him. 21 days I have slept alone. 21 days and counting. I wake up every morning hoping to roll over to him, I am constantly looking at my phone for just that one text and every single night I cry. 21 days and counting.

People ask why, people ask how come but I can just reply by saying, because.
Because it's the way he makes me laugh
Because it's the way he curls up to me
Because it's the way he makes me feel
Because it's how he has affected my heart
Because it's the way he touches my hand, the way he runs his fingers through my hair
Because it's the way he loves me

It's because I love him. Never have I loved someone like this, I can't even explain it. I can't explain the how I am still happy to be his wife, even in the current situation. I can't explain the bond we have after such a short period of time. I can, however, explain that I love my husband. I love my husband more than anything in the word. And while it's been 21 days, I am 21 days stronger and will continue to stand strong until I can have him home in my arm, because I love him.

We missed the the taste

My sister-in-law called together my friends and family and put on a wonderful lil bridal shower, including cake. Tom and I will taste our first bite, April 7, 2012.

"Babe, I wanted to do something special for you being as strong as you have been, but I'm limited to what I can do! I can't draw you a picture cause I'm not as talented as you in that aspect. I can't write you a poem cause I really suck at that. Due to the recent circumstances I can't take you out to dinner or get you flowers. I cant, however, tell you that baby, I love you! I love waking up next to you, it just starts my day out right! I love getting texts from your during the day, it keeps my day going right! I love curling up with you at night, it makes for a perfect day! And right before we go to sleep for the night and I look into those beautiful eyes of yours, I know for sure that this is a love that I never knew before! Baby, I truly love you with all my heart and absence makes the heart grow fonder. I will love you always and forever." Tom

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