Halfway to the Top

154 days spent sleeping alone in bed
154 days without breaking bread together
154 days without a conversation being recorded
154 days filled with lined paper and 44 cent stamps
154 days of waking up alone, falling asleep alone and just feeling alone
154 days of unknowing what the future really had for us

Today, Tom has been away for 154 days to be exact. 154. It seems like forever yet its just a few months. 154 days, I don't even know what its like to lay next to him anymore, not to mention I haven't seen him in 143 of those. Sometimes I sit, close my eyes and try to imagine his face, the way he laughed, the way he looked at me - yet those times seem to only come in my dreams which I soon forget them, and the feeling they give me. While Tom has been gone for 154 days, he has 155 left. Yes, only 155. Which means today is halfway. Today is the day we have reached the top of that mountain, now to only descend to the bottom, which is a positive!

155 days until I can really hug him
155 days until I can finally fall asleep in his arms again
155 days until I realize why I have been doing this the whole time
155 days until I can spend my first night with my husband
155 days until I can be free, and really happy again

I have been looking forward to our halfway mark. Having a countdown of how many days he has left and a count up of how long he has been gone on my phone, I seemed to have plagued myself of the constant reminder of this. BUT starting tomorrow, he will have less days to serve then he has been gone, thank you Jesus!! See a number like 340, 250 etc etc is so overwhelming and to finally get to a place where we are on the other end is a great feeling. Lets be honest 155 days may seem short to others, long to others - but none the less, I am happy that in just a few months he will be home. And when he is finally home, I will feel on top of the world rather than a mountain. This is a real test of love, whether it is decades, years, months, weeks, like Tom says you can really see who is on your side once you get locked up. I know in 155 days this nightmare will be over and we will finally be able to live of our lives without fear. I can't wait. Only 155 days.


  1. Only 155...wow what a number! I can't even imagine...I don't even know when I will be able to start my countdown for my son. I am so very excited for you that in 155 days you will be able to look in his eyes and hold the love of your life in your arms once again....do not EVER let him go!

  2. dangit I cried while reading this..Im so happy for you and I know exactly how you feel counting the days..Im so glad you only have 155 days left..It makes me hopeful to know that this is possible to get through as long as there is love and commitment!!

  3. Congratulations on 154 days and going strong!!! You two will make it.

  4. My beautiful wife did it for 1,826 days.....she's so awesome, and I so blessed.


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