19 weeks of unknown




It is such an amazing experience to not only know that you are creating life within your own body but to be able to see it, ahhh, in heaven
Seeing our little baby move, twirl, flip and spin on screen was so reassuring to me. Since I haven't been able to feel an actual kick or punch, seeing the movement and relating that to how I feel was great. Seeing the little heart pitter-patter on screen and to heart can be such an amazing experience. As a first time mom all of these things are not only new to me, but I don't even know what to expect. And as the baby was making its many movements there was a moment when it just opened its legs and for a quick second we could maybe guess the gender. To me there was a just a small white dot, while Tom was under the impression he may have seen more there. So at 19 weeks, it is inconclusive. It is still unknown whether we will bring a beautiful baby girl home or a handsome baby boy. While I want a girl and Tom wants a boy, we will be happy and blessed just t have a healthy baby, no matter what it is. 

Star Bright

Not even Thanksgiving yet and Tom and I have already put up a Christmas tree - that't right, Christmas tree. Yes, it's probably way to early but oh well. It being out first Christmas with Tom home and together, I was so anxious. We purchased a six-foot tree and lots and lots of ornaments. We decided to go for more of a color theme of white, silver and blue. Of course you have to make a Christmas tree "your own" so I glittered some clothes pins and printed off some black and white photos from the year. I made a banner that reads, "LEWIS" and together - I love you.

I couldn't even begin to explain how happy just having the Christmas tree up makes me. To me it signifies a beautiful season. For me as a little girl one of my fondest memories is when my mom hosted Christmas with her siblings, my dad's best friend and all my cousins. I remember the tree standing in the corner, it was so big and beautiful to me. And having about 13 cousin, the presents overtook the living room, the bright reds, greens and curled ribbon made it so everyone had to crawl over the boxes. I can remember my Aunt Gayle "tend the bar," she was always so much fun, my Uncle Nick, I remember him convincing me to go to bed so Santa Clause could come. That night is the first night I questioned Santa, since I could hear him talk about eating the cookies. Memories like that, the love, the family and the comfort of being altogether is something I want for my children. My mom has five siblings, my dad has a big Italian family and it seems as time goes on the family parts more and more. I want the memories of playing games on holidays, early breakfasts everything my growing family. So having this tree, our very first one together means a lot to me. It's like creating new memories for our very own family. 

Everything from the glittery ornaments, bright lights or shimmery ribbon - I love it all. Being able to share this time with Tom and knowing this time next year we will have a little one is a true blessing. I couldn't ask for anything more, anything better. 

For You I Have Prayed

Starting my fifth month of pregnancy has me anxious, nervous yet so excited and thankful. Soon enough I will be feeling our lil bambino moving around in there, little kicks, punches and hiccups. I am so excited.

I have so many emotions running through me of things I feel like I need to do, things that need to be done and things I feel like I want.

I have a list of things added to the registry of things "suggested," I am slowly planning my "at home time" since I won't be working right away.

But with everything I feel like needs to be done I can't help but sit and be thankful. I remember when Tom first came home and I use to lay in bed and pray silently in my head. Tom and I were wanting to have children but we allowed it to happen when it was suppose to happen. I want to say I was so ready for it, yet I wasn't. I had asked for this miracle to happen, for our lives to change and it did. I feel so grateful that this has happened at a perfect time for us. That we are able to bring our child into the world without worrying about me being a single mom, nights without Tom home or the chance of him leaving again. For this child, I have prayed. I have prayed for a life with a wonderful man, a life of great family and friends, a career I love and a child I can love for an eternity, and I am getting everything I prayed for, everything I asked for. How lucky am I?

Predicting the Future

One thing I am super anxious about it knowing
 the gender of my baby!! 
Boy? Girl? 
I have been so anxious to know, some woman claim that "they know." While most people tell me I am having a boy they, "just know," I am not sure about that! There are so many wives tales of what you should feel like or the symptoms of having a boy versus a girl, not to mention the Chinese calendar, the swinging ring thing and more. So then while reading all these different "tips" like carrying high or low, craving salt or sweet and stumbled up the Gender Prediction Test. Supposedly it is about 90 percent accurate and tests the hormones through a urine test. Of course you have to use morning urine, cant have sex 48 hours prior to taking the test and shouldn't take it if you drink a lot of fluids at night. And there other restrictions to like if you take certain medications or have PCOS. So I purchased the test and was very excited and nervous to take it! Last night I read through all the directions and what exactly has to be done because I didn't want to get a wrong result or screw it up, the test is $27! So this morning I got up gathered everything I had set aside and took the test. You have to wait until the 5 minute mark to "read" the test. On the testing jar, on side says boy with a green label and on the opposite side it says girl with an orange label. If the urine turns green its a boy and if it turns orange its a girl, the colored label help determine the color and gender. So I set me stopwatch on my phone and at exactly 5 minutes determine whether it was green or orange. I personally thought that the test would be easy to read - orange or green. I found it to be hard. So I took pictures of it since it is no recommended to read the test past the 5 minute mark, which made it even worse thanks to the lighting and the wonderful shadows in which I placed it! At first I thought, "Ahhh, its not that dark, its orange - GIRL." Then I looked again and it was like, "Hmmmm, not sure." There is a layer or light on top of what looks dark, its not solid, if that makes any sense. 
In a few weeks we will be able to know the gender via ultrasound so as far as right now I want to say girl, but I could be wrong! 
 

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