Today was not exactly what we expected. I anxiously awaited for that call from Tom in hopes that good news would finally come our way. While the news isn't exactly what I expected, it's still a step. At this point it is so frustrating to continue to wait. Wait. Wait. And wait again. This is our situation - a waiting game and my frustration level is most certainly at its highest right now because of it. So as Tom is explaining our next steps, what I need to do - it hit me. When is this going to be over? When will I not have to push 1 to accept a call, when will I not have to make calls on behalf of him, send money, send letters - when? Today it was just plain frustrating. It's like hurry to figure out what you need to do, to just wait. Wait for the date, for the call, for the move. I'm over it. It's frustrating. It kills your spirit - its kills you. As Tom explained everything to me in the short amount of time, he could tell I was upset. Not mad, but frustrated, I was almost hurt. I can't explain the amount of strength it takes some days to just answer his call - it hurts to act like it's okay, that I am okay. Even though we only expected one call - Tom called again. He called to say, "have faith." He said he could hear something wasn't okay in my voice and of course I didn't necessarily want to share them while I was at work. But in this whole time, I have always preached to Tom that we need to think positive, we need look to the future - today it was hard for me to do. Today it was him lifting me up. "Have Faith, babe," those three little words made me realize be down and out is no help for me, for him or our situation. With that being said, I love my husband. I have to remember that he is my husband that together we are strong, together we can do this.
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