I know I haven't thought about you a lot, thanked you for anything lately but right now I need you. I am sorry I left you long ago when I thought church was over rated and my dislike for mass seemed overbearing. I thought maybe you would still watch over me while I continued on my day-to-day life. Sorry I haven't made time for you. Right now I need you. You see, my nights are sleepless, my mind in constantly running, headaches seem to be normal now rather than a problem and the tears come for no reason. While I haven't been the perfect child, I really hope you can help. The past ten and a half months haven't been easy. It went from three months to over ten months and now here we are facing something that is bigger than New Jersey, bigger than the ten months. I know Tom hasn't been perfect in his life and to be honest, there is probably more than even I know but this one time Tom was honest, he is now going to be punished for it. I know you know the love I have for Tom in my heart, and his love for me. I am not asking for a perfect outcome I am just asking for something better than we hope. We try to keep our faith that everything will be okay, but the light at the end of the tunnel is pretty dim. I want to have children, but I want to have children with my husband. We had high hopes and wanted a bright future, in what would be tomorrow. While we haven't made the perfect decisions in our lives, either one of us, both together as a couple and individuals - we need the chance to be happy. We have moved leaps and bounds to become not only a couple, but to have a honest, open relationship where we rely on each other and love each other more every single day. I know you have a plan, but I ask you to please allow that plan include Tom and I together to live happily and free - soon. I don't want to make promises of what would happen if we were okay or what wouldn't happen if weren't okay because I would still love you but please consider allowing Tom and I to love one another in the presence of one another. Please I just want my husband home.

Love,

Annette Lewis