A life of "Oh Wells"

One year, 52 weeks, 366 days, 8,784 hours - is how long Tom has been gone. Today, March 23, marks a year (366 days because of the leap year). It brings back that first initial emotion of Tom being arrested.


I didn't know what to do, how to do it or what to expect. It was a Wednesday. A day that I felt so horrible I went home from work at noon. Tom had prepared some soup for me, tucked me into bed and needed to run some errands. Barely two hours went by when the U.S. Marshals paid me a visit on behalf of Tom. The first night marked my first of hundreds of letters. I remember crying as I wrote it, I missed him so much.
"First thing is first, you have nothing to be sorry for. You have been nothing but honest with me and with that I agreed to this deal. I'm not mad, i just wish I have hugged you, kissed you or at least lock eyes with you. I would be lying to you if I said I am fine. I am lost." (March 23, 2011 Day One)
Two days later I was able to see Tom in an early morning visit. I have never been a visitor at a jail before. I didn't know what to expect with to really do but I remember how I felt.


Sitting on the cold metal stool and seeing Tom through the glass was heart wrenching. Horrible. And I hated having to visit yet I love the man I was going to see. I never missed a visit. We soon got married, and just days later, Tom was extradited to New Jersey. I remember the day he left, it was around 3 p.m. in the afternoon - I just pulled over and cried.

Tom made his way to New Jersey, our time turned from 90 days, an added 180 days and then a final of 10 months. In that 10 months, it wasn't fun, it wasn't easy but its been worth it. We had bad days, fights, disagreements, but one thing to remember is that there is always tomorrow. Tom and I had to learn to adjust to being newlyweds, and newlyweds while one was in state prison. We have been dealt additional days, additional stress but it really is, "Oh well." We have chosen to accept this to situation and not allow the "oh wells" get us down.

In the past year the downs have really made us stronger - they have taught us to really appreciate one another, to listen and to communicate in a way that we may never have if we had the "traditional" relationship. Now one year later, I don't regret my decisions, my choices or how I handled it. Here's to tomorrow, continuing to stay strong and in love.

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