Deserving Love

When you sit and watch a love movie or hear a love song - you feel it, your hear it, you see it and then you realize is that you? That was me tonight watching the movie "The Vow." It seemed like everything they said either I related, I felt or I already knew. The love between the two characters was so real.

When you watch a movie like that every girl wants to be "that" girl - wants to hear those words and in the movie the vows they exchanged I wanted those to be my vows. 

"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed, and to share the silence when they're not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call is home." Paige  

"I vow to love you. And no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other." - Leo
"Always find a way back to each other," were words that struck because in my own life I feel like I have lost not only who I am but my love with Tom. While we love each other, there comes a time when you realize that the reasons you fell in love, the things that used to keep you love can no longer exist. The little things that keep our relationship fresh can no longer happen. Its almost like you come to a stop, a pause - You don't want to hit rewind because trying to relive the past hurts to much, you are limited to the future to the fast forward button does no good.
"Life's all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever. But what if one day you could no longer remember any of them." - Leo
One thing I never want to do is forget. Forget how we met, how we fell in love or what keeps us at this point. I don't want to forget our own "moments of impact." Any of them, the good ones and even the bad ones. 
"I hope one day I can love the way that you love me." - Paige 
This made me think. Does Tom feel that. Being the "better" half on the outside of a prison relationship you sometimes feel as though you are the one giving it all, that you are the one "loving" all the time. And I have to admit, I sometimes feel that way. Does Tom love me as much as I love him? Does he love me as deep as I love him? When he finally gets home, will we make up time; can we make up time? 
"Everything that I fell in love with is still there." - Leo
While Tom and I go through the motions of our circumstances we still have those moments, "Ahh, it is still there," going beyond the phone calls, the "missing yous," the distance, the letters, just the fact that we are apart. Loving someone for who they are is what love is - loving them for everything great they have done for you and not giving up on the one wrong thing they have done. 

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