While I am ever so anxious that Tom is coming home soon, I am nervous as hell. Point blank period.

I am nervous because we have to start over, get used to one another again. It will be 10 months since I have slept in the same bed as my husband. Ugh. To some that isn't long but it is. Its like almost saying "I do" all over again. Your heart races and you think of now, then and the future. What the future has for you two and what will happen.

Some days I am scared. Some excited. I have to be honest and say this is all so overwhelming. You don't know what to do with yourself or what to do next. Once he is home everything will be different again. You wonder will it be the same, like before he left? Will he insist to always have my head rest against his shoulder at night, that his legs always be wrapped within mine. The kisses, oh the kisses. I couldn't even tell you what its like to kiss. Shit, I can't even tell you how he acts anymore, his habits are no longer my habits. Sometimes I need to get on DOC just to see him, because in reality that is the most recent photo. The photos of us together are no longer us.

I miss Tom a lot tonight.