No matter how strong the wind blows, stand strong like a tree,
keep your roots embedded in the ground
and nothing can topple you over
"Babe, you know I love you right? I love you with all my heart! I would be lost right now without you! Shit, I'd probably be in here going crazy with a case of the "fuck its" but instead I live everyday happy knowing I'm coming home to you and the start of a beautiful life! Our future together is what keeps me calm and collect right now in all this insanity! You are the best thing that I have in my life and the best thing in my future! God, I miss you so much baby! What I wouldn't give to just kiss you one time, hell just to hug you one time would make these XXX days left be so much easier for me! I love you baby more and more with every passing day! Goodnight and sweet dreams my wife. Till tonight when we see each other in our dreams! Love you with all my heart always and 4-Life!! Your Husband"
Isn't it funny how you can go YEARS without someone, meet them and BAM, now they change your life. You wonder how you ever survived without them, how did I ever make it for the past 25 years without my husband? And he always tells me the same, what his life, our lives would be like if we just met sooner. With one another at each other's side it allows us to keep focus on going forward, looking at the light of the tunnel rather than where we are sitting now.
Looking back neither one of us can think where we would be right now without one another, while we both come from totally different backgrounds, lifestyles and experiences somehow it works. His "old" lifestyle would of had him dead in the gutter somewhere, while mine I would be lonely and helpless to an extent but with another we can conquer the world, all because two people fell in love.
At 25 I thought for sure I would have had kids and had at least a few years under my belt of being married. Each line on my face, every scar as a story of what I have been through of who I am, in my short 25 years. And as though I have been through so much every step, every fall has lead me to my husband. I have climbed to the highest mountain, traveled across the ocean and have broken all the rules but it has lead me to him. So many people have judged me for the decisions that I have made, dating him, marrying him and now the sacrifices I make but I do it for him because I was made for him. I am not ashamed of who I am, what I have been through the decision of where I am in my life falls into that. I am so head over heels in love with my husband that it doesn't matter the situation I am in, the fact that I am married to someone in prison or that fact that he is 2,500 miles away. He is the love of my life. He and I share no secrets, he has always told me the truth and I have done the same. I can only thank him for the wonderful man he is and who he is becoming. The daily letters and soon to be daily calls is what gets us both through this time. We both write each other every single day and look forward to each phone call.
If the world came down I would still have him, if I begin to fall he would never let me hit the ground, if we ever had to go to war he would be standing right next to me, no matter what I still have him.
A lot of "prison wives" say "why would people be jealous of me?" Shit, we can't sleep next to our husbands, its a few phone calls, visits for the lucky women, we are sending money and letters but ya know when it comes down to it, the letters the calls (I don't get visits) are nothing compared to the love that we have between one another. While I have to pay $5.70 to talk to my husband and mostly communicate with him via the United States Postal Service a "normal" couple gets to wake up next to one another, fall asleep next to one another but not all of em have this kind of love. That, this love, is what they should be jealous of. This kind of love. So pure, so real the love that my husband and I share people should be jealous because 2,500 miles away,behind locked doors Mr. and Mrs. Lewis have the kind of love some people will never have, the kind they only dream of.
God, how I love opening my mailbox to see something like this in it. Even 2,500 miles away he still makes me feel special. Every time he gets commissary he sends me something a little special since he can't buy my flowers, jewelry and foot rubs are out the question. =] How lucky am I?
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