Second chances: another try after a mistake or failure.
So many people experience mistakes and failure, almost on a daily basis. A mistake could be made if my hand slips putting on eyeliner, when I accidently put in more flour than called for or making the wrong turn down the street. Failures could be measured by your struggles yet in my life, failures are sometime accompanied by struggled yet gives the opportunity for second chances.
In the past three years my life has drastically changed. My life went from right to left then backwards and forward again.
This time two years ago I was sitting home, probably blogging, missing my husband who at that time somewhere between New Jersey to Idaho in federal custody. We had just finished a "bid" in New Jersey and with hopes of him being release in January drastically changed when he was picked up for another charge we were fighting. Little did we know that our hard work and faith paid off when in April of 2012 he was released.
And there it was a second chance. What now?
As a "former" prison wife, I know what its like to worry, to get excited for over mail, be under the everyday stress of not only being alone but doing it alone. I think every woman in that position have an idea of what is going to happen and what they want to happen but then life happens. You continue to live, to work and you get caught up in everyday things that those things you wanted to do or those things that you wanted to happen, haven't.
It's a completely different dynamic once your loved one comes home, I met my husband before he was incarcerated but once he steps outside the first time beyond those gates and walls you realize that you both have changed. And yes, its still him and you are still you, but something has changed. You both appreciate each other more because of what you and your husband just went through.
He now looks at life as though it can disappear at any moment, this is his second chance, and yet this is your second chance as well because in the long run you are his support, his love and most of all you are his wife. I almost took it on as a challenge, that his second chances were going to be my mission. And that is a mistake. Just like his mistakes he has to learn from them, so do I. In all instances you can't control every situation, you can't control what he does, what he says you can only control yourself. But for my personally, I felt as though I need to have some sort of control because lets be honest I just spent all that time, working double time, writing letters daily, having the headache from GTL, spending many nights alone, worrying and waiting - no one wants to do it again. No one.
Looking back on the situation I wish I would have changed somethings, wish that maybe I took that time for me. In all that time I almost felt guilty if I didn't write or if I missed a phone call, but in reality it takes a toll on you. Who says we don't deserve one quiet night, a bubble bath, a book and a lite candle. Once my husband came home it was like, "whoa, you're invading my space." When it was his space too but I got to accustom to him being gone that now it was like a brand new fresh relationship and I wasn't sure if I was ready for him to spend the night, let along leave his toothbrush.
Now fast forward eight months, I gave birth to our baby boy four months early. Just in that time we were re-living and re-loving all over again, we got pregnant and had a huge stressful situation in front of us. And at that moment it was like, we got this, we've been through hardships before. But you never know what can or will happen next in your life. You will always be going through something, whether its children, job loss, a death in the family and you will look back and think, we got this.
That's the power of second chances.
Second chances give you the power to live again, to experience new things and experience the dreams you have always wanted to.
It's a completely different dynamic once your loved one comes home, I met my husband before he was incarcerated but once he steps outside the first time beyond those gates and walls you realize that you both have changed. And yes, its still him and you are still you, but something has changed. You both appreciate each other more because of what you and your husband just went through.
He now looks at life as though it can disappear at any moment, this is his second chance, and yet this is your second chance as well because in the long run you are his support, his love and most of all you are his wife. I almost took it on as a challenge, that his second chances were going to be my mission. And that is a mistake. Just like his mistakes he has to learn from them, so do I. In all instances you can't control every situation, you can't control what he does, what he says you can only control yourself. But for my personally, I felt as though I need to have some sort of control because lets be honest I just spent all that time, working double time, writing letters daily, having the headache from GTL, spending many nights alone, worrying and waiting - no one wants to do it again. No one.
Looking back on the situation I wish I would have changed somethings, wish that maybe I took that time for me. In all that time I almost felt guilty if I didn't write or if I missed a phone call, but in reality it takes a toll on you. Who says we don't deserve one quiet night, a bubble bath, a book and a lite candle. Once my husband came home it was like, "whoa, you're invading my space." When it was his space too but I got to accustom to him being gone that now it was like a brand new fresh relationship and I wasn't sure if I was ready for him to spend the night, let along leave his toothbrush.
Now fast forward eight months, I gave birth to our baby boy four months early. Just in that time we were re-living and re-loving all over again, we got pregnant and had a huge stressful situation in front of us. And at that moment it was like, we got this, we've been through hardships before. But you never know what can or will happen next in your life. You will always be going through something, whether its children, job loss, a death in the family and you will look back and think, we got this.
That's the power of second chances.
Second chances give you the power to live again, to experience new things and experience the dreams you have always wanted to.
